old pic…

Here i am, in this room, in this chair, a place i have no care for. I don’t know where to start; how to begin,what to do, or will this madness ever end. My wishes, my dreams, my goals; these are things that float in my head as these fall days pass me by. Feeling like i have no purpose, like I’ve failed; myself and my child. As the tears arise in my eyes my emotions burst within me. Time is passing me by, i have yet to grab hold of it and fly along this journey. Five years ago i graduated high school and five years ago i set goals for now. Looking back on that list i haven’t really achieved any of them. Who’s to blame? God? Life? Circumstance? I don’t know the answer to that. But i do know that i want more out of this thing called life.

My inner ambitions… What are they? How can i reach them? If i was to write them here, would that make them appear, would it make this reality that I’m in dissolve like the rain when the sun rises. I’ll save my ambitions for another day, right now ill just sit or lay and try to think of way to make this work, this thing called life.